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The Reality of Motherhood

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Tuesday, February 17, 2015

A few months ago I shared my thoughts on mom's at war. It baffles me how some moms eat away at each other and stand in constant judgment for every parenting choice that is made. Before becoming a mother I was guilty of making uninformed judgements, making blanket "I will never statements" and walking around totally naive to the reality that every mother faces. Being a mother constantly evolves as your child grows up. I've read so many posts lately about things I wish I knew before becoming mother and the "realities" of motherhood. I definitely could relate to many things said in those posts (which I didn't save and don't remember the exact titles) but there were also things I didn't relate with. All this got me thinking about what motherhood looks like to me.

Most days you will find me in jeans and a t-shirt or yoga pants playing with my son. We spend a lot of time outside and go to weekly playdates. My house is not always tidy and we don't eat home cooked meals every night. I love browsing the aisles of Target when we need to get out of the house, can anyone relate? My days aren't perfect, and by no means do things always go as planned. My son is turning 2 next month. He is unpredictable at times, full of energy and makes my heart so full of joy.  I'm 20 weeks pregnant with my second child and definitely feel more prepared this time around but, I'm not an expert in motherhood. In fact far from it, but I am an expert at caring for my son. I take each day one at a time, if things are terrible before nap I pray that things improve after nap.

I have come to realize in my 2 years of being a mom that motherhood is your own reality, you have your own trials and triumphs. What one excels at, another is totally failing at. What you rocked at doing Monday you may be scrambling to get by doing the same thing on Tuesday. Such as life that we all have strength and weaknesses in things. It makes you no better or worse of a mother because you are not as strong in one area. Chances are you'll be tested in that area often by your little one and guess what, you get better at things as time goes on.

An area I really struggled with and lets be honest still struggle with some days is the mundane daily routine and loneliness as a stay at home mom. It's true I'm never alone, my son is always around but he's 22 months. Social media is a blessing and curse because scrolling through my feed I wish I could be doing that sometimes. Please don't misunderstand me, I love being a stay at home mom and I wouldn't trade where I'm at in life. Like with any "job" (I hate to call it a "job" but for lack of a better word) some days the grass looks greener on the other side. I was a really social person before I had my son, I did a lot of things with friends. Unintentionally friendships got put on hold for quite some time after giving birth. All Most of my energy and attention was put into caring for a newborn and taking it easy so I could heal. I felt like I was in a fog for months and when I came out things were different. Peoples lives go on whether you are a part of them or not. That was HARD! I love the online mom community, we may not know each other in real life but we get to know each other through blog posts and social media.

I share my best moments on Instagram as I'm sure most do. I take time editing my photos before posting. Sometimes I take longer than necessary and I hear my toddler getting into things he knows he is not supposed to because I'm not paying attention. Taking a picture of giant pile of laundry ready to be folded off the side of your picture is generally not photo-worthy, oh wait I take that back, I send those to my husband haha. I so appreciate those real life shots though because they remind me that we don't always have to have it together. Some days I actually do have it all together, high five for those days, but you know those days are not my reality. A while ago I cut myself some slack in the cleaning department and found the right time to get things tidy, at the end of the night when tiny hands can't trail you making new messes. I can't go to bed with my house a mess, it's built into my nature. It bugs me to see clutter in my home. It literally clouds my thinking until it's clean. I'm not standing in judgement of those who don't do the same nightly, I'll be honest in the early weeks of my second pregnancy I turned my cheek to the toy clutter because I was far too exhausted and nauseous for all that.

Again I say motherhood is your own reality. There is no right or wrong way to do it. It is not always easy and not everything comes natural. You learn as you go along, and having a support system is important. Social media shouldn't be used to measure your abilities. If you want to make tons of crafts with your kids and post the pictures, go for it! If you make yummy food for your child and want to share, do it! If you love toddler fashion, post away! You are blessing a mama out there somewhere who loves your idea and picture. I know I love a great craft idea and toddler fashion. Instead of reading blog "reality" posts and seeing where I fit in, I accept where I am at and own it!

What does motherhood look like for you?

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